remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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