shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
