Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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