yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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