I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
