We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
