just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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