I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize