So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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