you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
