can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my being single is dangerous.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
