In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
