weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
