Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
