1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
