Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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