"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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