i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
