My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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