there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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