So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
