so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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