I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
