As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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