I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
