i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
