singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
