he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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