wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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