Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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