sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
