i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
