Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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