OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
