they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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