what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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