We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
