Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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