nut hugger
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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