We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's just like the Real World with babies
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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