We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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