thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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