i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
