sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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