Buhtt sex?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
