I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
