You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
