An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
