I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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