I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
