I'm gonna have a badass scar
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
