like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
In other news, I just burned my penis
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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