it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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