You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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