this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
