Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
