Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
