Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

so you masturbated because Oprah told you?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.

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(914): View more from New York

I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%

(1-914): View more from New York

He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal

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(571): View more from Virginia

Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face

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(773): View more from Illinois

if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.

(815): View more from Illinois

This is why you're my favorite.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.

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(314): View more from Missouri

GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS

(636): View more from Missouri

.........That big, huh?

(314): View more from Missouri

No. I would cut it off

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