we have officially lost it.
You can't motorboat a personality
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
